Holding Space

Around the triggers, wounds I did not create

Yet somehow feel responsible for, I

Hold space. Tip-toe. Catch my breath. 

Wait for the right words to come

Despite resistance, I attempt to carve out

Spaces in which you can feel safe; I

Dig my way through the trenches 

Scraping elbows and ego along the way

Nurturing while still learning the ropes

Tying knot after knot to break your fall; I

Slowly slip, begin to lose my grip

Missing parts of myself that I loved most

Time passes as I bottle up the years

Collecting Anxieties, Resentments, Tempers: I

Study each of yours, mine under microscope 

Envious of the way your lids stay tighter than mine

Your livelihood becomes my life-line

No longer paying heed to my own, I

Find my identity diminishing in tandem

Falling into dark waters, no reserve chute in site

Circumnavigating a mine field of possibilities

Presenting requests that go ignored; I

Wish my voice alone were enough to matter

But you only respond to a higher chain of command

The mission remains, hope still front-line and center

Yet as we approach an impasse across this lonely desert, I

See a new dawn breaking along the horizon 

Stepping forward, chin high, I hoist up my pack of potential

I Will 

Hold Space 

For Me.